Cycle of Violence - Fat Edition

This started off as quick thank you to a friend about their motivational response to the last post... got long winded so turning into a blog post....

The freaking circle of violence - fat edition:
your fat so need to exercise > can't exercise because your hurt > your hurt because your fat

I'm well aware of this cycle and how it plays in my life, which is why I'm seeing lots of doctors and getting things on the right tract and not letting this stuff slide... I think this blog plays a big role in how I perceive my progress, while I started a half dozen posts throughout October and November, I didn't get them posted, and I think that hit me psychologically and led to the lapse of posts as well.

I've got prescriptions out the wazoo and referrals to specialists and saw as many as I could the last 2 months and plan to see several more over the next few months to cover the medical issues that are plaguing me.

Despite the obstacles, I'm still as focused and determined as I was, just can't go running when a step makes you want to crumple to the floor 8(  I should of also mentioned big projects at work as affecting my class attendance as well.

Last few months

Wow do I feel like I dropped the ball on this.

After Michelle left bodyplex I kind of fell off the radar.

So quick recap on the missing weeks:

October went well and on schedule. November though things fell apart...

Screwed up my foot, out 2 weeks, then threw out my back, out 1 week, screwed up my other foot out another week which brings us to December.

I've had intermittent attendance as solo exercise, no class, this month.. and 2 weeks I had additional pain in my feet. I've seen a doc, but the pills i got really aren't helping foot pain, back pain has been pretty manageable. This is a kind of foot pain I haven't had before, usually it starts top inside foot around the tendons, current pain is at boot of heel, very painful to touch, burning pain, only pill that touches it is ibuprofen.

I really miss the classes and want to get back to them, but my schedule doesn't really allow access to early eavening, the late evening 8:00 classes are the ones I'll likely be able to attend. Still really annoyed at this, the late classes were the #1 reason I signed up as I knew morning and early evening were not doable for me.

Diet has been going well, still trying to do paleo as much as possible, eating tons of seeds/nuts during day, go home have a veggie and a meat. The free range weekends are not really free range, and while my pantry is full of beans, ramen noodles, pasta and baking mixes it bothers me to not use them given money is tight after learning this week my $1000 expense account reimbursement was canceled as part of the budget cuts... I was kind of banking on that because I was never told it was canceled.

January outlook is good, 1st week might see me in if my foot stops hurting, I'm also on holiday for my bday so will be out of town, after that, going to try full force to get thing back to 100% participation.

1st day of weight training

My ass hurts! We did our first stint on the weight equipment last night, I'm not sure what activity did it, but sitting is uncomfortable today, and every joint i have seems like its been hit with a truck! On the plus side, there was less that 20 of us in the evening class for the first time since week one it seems. It was nice to have the class experience I signed up for for, wish all the classes could be like that... **mumbles something about Marti/Ted  and money grubbing**

I found 4 containers of Whey powder from Julian Michaels(sp) for $7(60% off) ea at Kroger, I bought them and didn't stop to think to look at ingredients. http://www.walmart.com/ip/Jillian-Michaels-Natural-Whey-Protein-Powder-Chocolate-14-oz/13284386#Ingredients Oh well, I'll still use em up, just not the great on track product I thought I was buying, just saw biggest loser and that just said unquestionably compatible, really should of known better.

Day something or other

At  work and wanted to make this a quickie...
Had my workout last night, lots of running/walking - think that's usual for a Tuesday session. I found in our warmup walking I started having the urge to push myself, and began jogging every other block of the circuit around the parking lot (4 blocks/sections, and did about 7 or 9 loops) my back spasms are pretty bad atm from the hill last week, took 3 bayer at start and took another 3 about 40 minutes later, with no apparent relief - i can only imagine what not having any would have felt like. The running let me get my mind off it for a second but it quickly came back... I made it a goal to run 3 of the sections without stopping and I did that, and ran a few 2 section sprints as well. Not sure where this (i don't even know what to call it) desire to do this is coming from, almost as if possessed when it hits me.

Went shopping afterwards, I cried internally as I walked by the fried chicken display and saw manager special on chicken fingers, buffalo strips, country fried steak, and fried chicken...not a single thing was unbreaded 8(  I did however find dolmas marked 1/2 off and scooped those up, turns out their right on track of a paleo diet, can't really take full credit for such a wise decision, I didn't know it when I did it that it was and thought I was buying a fringe item that was sorta on track..

Gina's Weekend Wedding recap

With phase 2 feeling less strict, I'm finding myself not documenting so much. I need to ramp that back up.

This weekend was was Gina and Mike's wedding, and I was a bit stressed going into it knowing there would be all sorts of things I couldn't indulge, liquor being the #1. I brought sunflower seeds and almonds and snacked on them throughout the night, I had a red solo cup of bbq beans and a few glasses of apple juice. Walking into it, I was still undecided if I'd get sloshed and make an evening of it. I stuck to my guns though and didn't despite every 5 minutes someone trying to give me a beer or a drink of some sort.

Diet wise, still under the radar for meeting eating goals, I say that as I'm not eating the allotment I should, not that overeating.

I suppose I'm being cheap and eating out of my deep freezes, so I'm not eating great on target stuff, but I'm not eating horrible for me either....
IE last nights dinner was pickles 12oz lean burger and a half jar of mango salsa... I'm starting to crave something else, not sure what, but it's definitely not on my meal plan. Pretzels, sausage egg and cheese biscuits, and sausage bagel dogs are all sounding divine!

Day 45 - Screw hills

So tonight's workout was various was in which one can walk up and down a 45 degree 100 foot hill(close enough). I tried it to find out where I'd be knowing my back would spasm, and it did, and the rest of the eve i walked the parking lot loving that 3 bayer back and body pills were not enough for it, felt like taking 3 more, but I think that screws up your liver or something if you over dose it.  Still sitting here feeling it gripping and hurting, 6 hours later. Michelle said sun flower seeds are not the best and to go with almonds...
1lb sun flower seeds $1.75, 1lb almonds $5-8 bucks, going to be hard sucking up and stocking almonds.

On the plus side of things, we had a 2-3 days of rain this week and my allergies have died down to bearable levels.

Day 43 (yup there is a gap)

Was out and about this weekend, and just never got to the computer to write about it. Not that much in the line though biggest loser wise. My friends all noticed the weight loss so far, especially in my face. Did gym last night, Bayer Back and Body pain pills are definitely letting me push myself and do the running and stuff. Ran again -- can't wait to say goodbye to flop flop flop as I run...

Since I have found eating sunflower seeds to be doing wonders on my appetite, I bulk bought some, 6lbs plain lightly salted for $13 bucks. Wish I could of found dill pickle for that price, but cheapest i found those were about $20-25 for 5 lbs. Maybe I can soak some in dill sauce and re roast them.

Day 37 - blah humbug

So yea, missed a gym class.
I'm not sure what was wrong, was this my first sinus blockage of pain? Never had one, basically I had strange acute pain forming a triangle from: Hmm, areas are spots i don't have names for so will describe them:

• Divits behind the eye, you know the indentations you press that supposed to relieve head aches etc.
• Follow ridge line under eye till it meets the nose
• Then down to my lip, and back to the divit. 

Only on the right side of my head.

Every time i coughed, or had head movement, that felt like a thumbtack to my brain. It got worse during the day, and come gym time, I decided to skip it as I was in no good mood for gym with that. Went home, feel asleep on the couch, and woke up about 1am feeling better. Took some expectorant just for the hell of it. Today I can still feel it there, but it's not acute anymore, feels dull when i cough.

Found some recipes and such and added to DBL google group and my pinterist board. Will have to try to make paleo stuff for thanksgiving, likely I'm the only one that will eat or like it, just means more for me, RAWR!

Day 36 - start of this weeks workouts

So I am now at 20 min warmups before classes. I have so much energy, just wish my back would let me fly till physically exhausted. Nearing the end of our laps last night, I pushed through and did the walk backs as running. Felt pretty good for it, pain pills are helping alot and think I'll regularly be taking them for the workouts at this point.
Non gluten liquor has a green light in moderation, but I doubtful I'll have much, might find a couple celebration evenings, but for the most part, I plan to not have it regularly. Also adding pork into my weekly diet, it's been there but felt guilty since it wasn't on the list of approved food. Michelle saw no problem adding it in, as long as same as other meats rules are done, trim fat etc.

Really starting to feel, the whole program is kind of a scam on the business side. I don't think there's anything officially tying this program to any The Biggest Loser programs. I found this today, http://www.amerishape.com/index.php and all their menus and lists etc seem to be exactly the same paper work we have been handed and after looking over the paperwork and instructions, it's present to us, very hodge podge and unprofessional (ie lacking the polish i would expect from official Biggest Loser paper work. This annoys me alot, as I signed up to have their backing and results behind this process, but I don't think there is a lot of constructive solutions that end better than if I stick to it and accept it. Michelle is making things work and knows what she's doing, I'm feeling better and looking to make this work despite the program managers used car salesman bullshite.

Oh and I was looking over the original flyer today...
https://pinterest.com/globeadue/biggestloser-misc-stuff/

Bullet point - childcare provided

BS! - classes start at 8:05, childcare ends at 8:30 * nice half truth. Not that I'm complaining about folks kids sitting at the outskirts of the group during class, but if I had kids, I'd be somewhat miffed that the claim of childcare is half truth.

Day 32-35 Weekend recapp

I seem to have lost my phase 2 paper work, looked everywhere, must of gotten bunched up with other paper work when I cleaned out my car. Will get a new copy on Tuesday. Skipping going shopping until then, so loosly following a loose Phase 1 meal plan until then.

I had a date Saturday, we went to a mexican place. It was the weekend and I wanted to have a good time so ordered chile releno's, the place apparently does the wierd ones where it's not a stuffed pepper, instead, they plop 3 scoops of ground beef, put a slice of pepper on it, and soak in cheese -- sigh not what I wanted, wanted stuffed chile's. It was sooooo good to have cheese, I had about a handfull of chips and didn't feel guilty at all.

Thawed out some ground turkey and a few pork loin from the freezer, restrictions be damned, I have a freezer full of pork, and I don't buy fatty pork so I'm going to use it.

Appetite still non existent, I'm almost thinking it's my mindset, forcing out the cravings for carbs like breads, tortilla and noodles. I miss my ramen. I only have like 10 cases of it in my pantry lol not to mention the 50lbs of white rice collecting dust. And I want to use up the bread/muffin mixes I have, maybe on a weekend.

Scale reading in the 520's, seems to be the consistent read.

Day 31 - Phase 2 begins

WOOT WOOT WOOT!!! 30 Days done and Phase 2 begins.
Planning actual start of phase 2 for this weekend once payday hits and I can go grocery shopping.
I feel better. I can reach and bend a lot better than I was. My clothes feel loose, and I swear I'm belting 1 loop further now to tighten up and feeling like 1 more loop is almost necessary .
I did last nights workout with 3 Bayer back and body pills. I think it made a world of difference in easing pain on my back.

Days 28-30 recap

Days 28-30
Still eating less than I should be - being sick I have wanted feel good chicken noodle soup or ramen, but I havn't gone there. Rotisseried up a bunch of tilapia, waleye, salmon and catfish for the next few days.
Day 29 I was sick. Frozen to the bone and stayed home. These weather shifts, plus diet, plus alergies, plus workouts has left my body weak I knew it would happen eventually. Slept it off and feel better the next day.
Day 30 Last day of phase 1, yeah! Thought I was early for workout, but since i was sick yesterday, mixed up my days. Ended up getting there right as walking warmups ended... Sigh.

Days 26-27 - Weekend recap

Nothing horribly exciting this weekend. My calendar reminder failed me and I missed Micah's wedding ( I feel like an ass, Thought it was next month, got to work and found the reminder waiting for me this morning, instead of a 1 day ahead notice, it was set to 5 minutes before notice, odd no one called during wedding to find out where i was, 15 mins and I would have been there, wedding was only 10 miles from my house ) Diet wise, maybe not going was a good thing, not saying it's an valid point or anything, just saying from a logistics point of my diet.

Diet wise, I finished off my bean soup crock I made...
After the first few daysof beans and cabbage, I used the juice to crock pot up chicken and some steaks. Which lasted from Friday - Sunday... Used the last of such juice to cook up some yams. which came out super yummy when mashed into the reduced juice and meat. Had wheat saltines with it - my source of salt for the weekend - just trying to eat up things from pantry, and that was the last of them so no more saltines.

I felt very sleepy after eating and wondering if it had something to do with the saltines, having not had breads in a few weeks. Cooked up batches of walleye, catfish, talapia and salmon for the next few days as my proteins. I love my rotisserie machine, makes it so easy... 4 filets,.25 minutes = nom nom nom. Even without seasoning, they come out great tasting having self marinated in their own juice.

Day 25 - uhg blah uhhh

Day 25 - uhg blah uhhh
So get to gym last night, on time and ready to go, doh, forgot to bring gym cloths, and khakis won't flex without splitting on me so I goto kroger and walk around getting groceries. Having a cart to relieve some pressure on my back is soooo much easier than freeform walking.

Was happy to find alot of manager specials on meat that were lean. Freezer is now packed for a few weeks.

Those squats are still making me ooh ahh when I stand, dang!!

Woke up at 2 AM,couldn't get back to sleep, and I'm feeling it today and it's just past noon...Thankfully no gym tonight.

Day 24 - Handlebar lifts + squats are the devil

Day 24 - Handlebar lifts + squats are the devil.
As the song says, "I know what I was doing, but what was I thinking?!"
I feel the burn today, last nights class was 2lb weights with various action, of which the squats and kneels have killed me. Was 30 mins late to work because I was going so slow this morning. Sitting is fine, but stand and use the muscles right above the knee cap and it's oohs and ahhs.

Starting the to feel more and more, that the program itself is a scam, same scam as any other gym membership, infomercial work from home, weight loss program type scam. You know the kind of 'program' that never lives up to what is claimed, filled with loop holes in the contract that let them not be accountable for such, that kind of scam. Flyer said 25 people, they have signed up 200 and are still making calls to sign up more? This is hearsay so I have to take it with a grain of salt, but when everyone is saying it and the class size is around 50, I'm inclined to think theirs some truth to it.
Regardless I don't think there is enough facility for use to do this indoors. And nothing against anyone's kids, but to sign up people and says there's childcare but the childcare shuts down at 8:30, 30 minutes into the classes seems wrong. I really fail to see how they have raked in all this income from us, and cannot provide an extra 30 minutes of childcare hours

At this point, I'm kind of disregarding any thing Marti said, and following Michelle's directions. I get the clear feeling that she is there to help us succeed, cares, and knows what she is doing, and is an Bodyplex employee, Marti(Ted something I think is his real name) was just there to take our money and isn't affiliated with the gym itself..

Regardless this has not changed my determination to see this through to the end. *as i change my leg position and let out a long ooooh of pain.*

Day 23

Day 23
Wow, after last nights workout, I'm not sore, I'm wore out.
I pushed myself hard, because of the insane amount of people they have signed up, I am not able to get on on a treadmill as Marti described would be our practice. Really annoyed at paying and not being able to use the equipment as was outlined for our program. So I started off walking outside, the pavement is uneven and at a slant, this is causing wondrous  levels of pain in my back, not that a level flat lots would do much better, but it is definitely a factor in the pain level. So basically without the treadmill for arm support to lesson weight on back, my back was quickly gripping and stayed that way for the workout. I also couldn't force myself at an increased speed. I busted out my camp chair for support during exercises, it helped having it out more than using my van for support *though I did use both*. Pain levels easily hit 5 or 6 and walk/jog portions I was feeling lower back desensitizing to everything. I haven't worked out like this since high school, and even then, I don't think I pushed myself this hard for any PE classes except for in track, and even then this doesn't compare to that.

Enough of the pain, the workout itself was norm. For the run portions I did put for the effort to run and pushed myself to run. I just love the sound of flap flap flap as my stomach hits my legs. Rather self conscious of it almost embarrassed as I feel like it's drawing everyone's attention that's nearby. Frak it is all I can think, I'm here to get rid of it anyways and I'm not if I don't run and push myself to where I do go flap flap flap as run then I'm not going to succeed.

I'm very put off by that many people. Not that I don't like anyone in the group, I just can barely stand being in a group of 5-8 people without feeling the need to make myself scarce. 30-50 people, i'm ready to get the hell out of dodge.

My cough is still here, I'm pretty confident its a post nasal drip. I've added a collection of bolthouse farms juices to my regimen. I know the diet doesn't allow for them, but I want the added boost of nutrients in an easy to stomach package that might help my body process this out.

There was a new guy there tonight I hadn't seen before. Reminded me a lot of Chuck(Lindy's brother) same attitude, tall, and seems to give a rats ass about someone he doesn't know. Didn't know they had a mold for that, I bet the two of them would get along great.

Day 22

So went shopping last night. Dang healthy limited diet stuffs are expensive..
Spent $160 with $15-$20 in coupons
Normal groceries were $100 with $50-80 in coupons.
As a cheap stingy bastard, I find this added cost annoying to say the least.
I stood and stared at the fried chicken on sale marked down half as it was manager special...
I so wanted to stock up for the weekend on it. But didn't.

This healthy fresh crap doesn't preserve well either, ended up tossing some oranges, lemons and carrots from last shopping trip. This only means I'm going to have to waste more time shopping instead of going shopping once a month - perturbed at that time sink. That's 2 or 3 hours I could be spending killing trolls in some dungeon in guild wars.

I'm dying for mustard on my food, I bought ingredients to make my own without preservatives etc from amazon. Should be here in a few days. Thinking of making my hummus if it's allowed for phase 2. Will be a good dip for carrots and such. if so.

Bought ingredients to do another batch of cabbage beans and beef -- slow cooked a head of cabbage and onions last night - woke up and house smelled like a fart - yum!

Day 21 - weekend recap

What a cruddy weekend, wake up Saturday with my left eye entirely pink/red. Any bright light that caused the eye to contract was painful so stayed indoors cycling hot compresses on it. Broke slightly from food regimen as I just wanted to get the eye off my mind and a mint chocolate protein bar had a feel good affect for a few minutes. Had a few extra protein bars than I should of, and saltine crackers and a sweet spicy mustard. Eye was doing better but still tender to bright light Sunday, this morning really bright light i could feel the twinge, but sunglasses blocked that for the drive to work.Made some yummy 10 bean soup with beef and cabbage so I don't feel totally bad I had the bars. 2 heads of cabbage, 8 servings of beans and 1lb of beef. .
Scale is still a piece of crap, tried 3 times and it never locked on but was fluctuating in the 490-530 ranges.

Day 18

Day 18

Still not much of an appetite, starting to think this cough is sinus related - thank you GA for yet another addition to your war on my out of state body. Multivitamins are probably only thing of true nutritional value I've eaten the last few days or even week. Having a giant craving for some feel good peanut butter ramen soup with some sausage eggs carrots and peas cooked into it... (Don't knock it till you try it 8P alot of thin soups I like to use peanut butter to thicken them up with, or i should say used to use...)

Last nights class had what seemed like 50 people, this is getting ridiculous, I looked back at the flyer and it states "looking for 1 group of 25 people", this sounded like 25 people spread across the 8 or 10 classes a week meaning there would be 5-10 of us per class allowing for us to have personalized coaching, not mob coaching that we are getting now. Michelle has been great, but I can tell she's going to end up managing the class than managing us individually. Not to mention we outnumber the available exercise machines for warmups etc or even going in and using the equipment as part of hte class. By my calculations if there are 200 peopl who have paid nearly or will pay nearly $500 for the program, that's $100,000. They need to step it up and disperse the classes, if you look at schools, 30+ students to a teacher is highly frowned on and considered inattentive to individual needs of the students.

Workout went well, I parked my van strategically so I could relieve pressure on my back as much as possible. It sucks, I want to push myself a lot harder and can feel that the rest of my body is capable, but the gripping pain keeps me tending my back so I don't drive into class 7 to 9 pain levels, I don't want to be writhing on the ground in pain. Right now it's almost like i have whole new kind of feel to the pain, it's hurting in different areas more and more - i seem to recall when I first went on disability it being all over my back rather than generalized to my lower back -- Joy 8(

Days 16 / 17

Days 16 / 17

So weighted myself this morning, 497. I cannot recall last time something said i weight less than 500.
Taking that with a grain of salt for an accuracy of +/- 10%, I'm feel i can safely say I'm under 550 now.

Workouts have kind of sucked, we are doing them outside, and it involves alot of walking and with walls to offer relief to my back to lean against, it's sucking. I'm trying to park my van near the workout area of the parking lot so I can use it. Hopefully I can keep getting that close spot. My back has been pretty painful the last 3 days, definitely at a high 3 on the pain chart just sitting. The workouts are definitely hitting stage 4 and 5. For reference I use the pain chart found here:
http://www.tipna.org/info/documents/ComparativePainScale.htm
Working through the pain is what I'm here for, only by gritting my teeth will I get by it. I don't feel a lot of the stretches hitting muscles that Michelle?(think that's our coaches name, I'm so horrible with verbal data, if i see it on paper I'll remember no sweat) says we should be feeling, I think it's just my fat padding padding things down. Don't get me wrong, I love working outside, just the lack of support is what sucks because once I hit stage 4 (about 5 feet of walking) the whole force grip seizing my back is a just a wonderful experience. A lot of guided meditation taking me elsewhere when it hits is all i can do.

Had my first VI shake this morning, made it with water, and it tastes good. Not sure what it qualifies as, only has 12g of protein which is 0.4ish oz?

Holiday Weekend - Days 10-15

Holiday Weekend - Days 10-15
This was rough, my first time hanging out with Jay since the start.
All I wanted to get was get smashed, have some yummy looking corn salsa and chicken fingers...
But I didn't. The only exception I made was having pink eyed peas and a couple scoops of Gina's/Mike's mushroom steak topper. It was the weekend so it's eat what you want, but still I wanted to follow the meal plans.

The gym was rough tonight, outside whole time doing circuits of the parking lot. My back wanted nothing to do with it and I think I was even going numb to touch in the major pain area of my back.
The only thing that kept me going is the hope that comes a time I reach the point where the weight is lifted and my back is not 24/7 pain. That is the light i hope i see at the end of this long tunnel. Nice folks in the classes. One lady started trying to help me get going for the jog section.

Scale says I'm at 519. Not sure to trust it, +/- 10%  accuracy of it(per owners manual), puts the possible weight from 467-572 ish. thats a large variance.

I don't seem to be hungry. Over the weekend I've eaten probably 1/3 of the prescribed diet. Not sure whats up with that, maybe this bug that's been in my lungs for the last week...  I bought some chocolate mint protein bars - their on a shelf tempting me, helping steeling my reserve.

Diet changes

Instructor advised the following, -Adjust protein to 4-6 oz is fine - not likely to happen any time. -Make meals not snacks/grazing - will be hard as carrots and fruits like grapes are rough to pound out in a few minutes. I had several theory's on the diet, but at this point, I think it's just a way to clean out the system of grains etc and not feel hungry.

Day 7-9 recap

Day 7 - Nothing out of the normal, stuck with routine Day 8 - Finding it hard to get all the vegetables the diet asks for. Fruits, starch and protein I'm meeting. Workout was great, while exhausted, I wasn't as sore all over as i expected I would be. Day 9 - Workout killed me, we were doing different things than the prior 5 classes. Mountain climbers specifically. We walked the parking lot while waiting for the prior class to end, my back started hurting. I guess there's a difference in walking and having the support arms of the walking machine to help my back.

Day 5 & 6, the weekend

Day 5 & 6, the weekend Got some bug in my chest, there's a taste your phlegm gets when your sick. A cough and that in my lungs atm is what I have. Stayed home and laid low. Since it's a wildcard weekend, I didn't follow the weekday plan that much... 4 of the meals had a tortilla with them, and vegi intake was low. I did try to eat every three hours but definitely lost track of time while gaming. Sunday evening the soreness was a faded lingering memory and in the morning work up and felt refreshed.

Day 4 & 5

Day 4 (friday) Just sore, started measuring food now that my scale has arrived - hmm did i mention that already... Not so hungry as I expected, Day 5 (saturday) Technically I don't have to follow the diet on weekends, but why stop a good thing... I'm not going anal on following it though, just not over eating.

Day 1 & 2

Forgot to write about day 1. Day 1: Meals were easy enough, did not meet vegetable count. Workout was killer, felt dead but my back didn't flare up like I thought it would, so yay! Day 2: Muscle cramp in mid afternoon, workout at 7:35 felt the pain of it return, almost nauseating, but not the cramp itself. Felt like i was full of water and about to spew. Arm exercise night, felt a lot shorter than night before.

Day 3 BLBC session

Day 3 BLBC Finally had my back start flaring up. jogging, football, etc stuff hopping left and right, fat white man can't jump! Tired and sore, think that will be on every post for a while...

Day 3

Day 3 - My scale arrived last night - boy was I off on serving sizes, I've been eating half of what they wanted. I'm so sore, I took a dose of ZZquil last night, it wasn't until 1pm that I felt the fog of sleep finally wash off. Body is so sore, on the plus side, sleep is deep and low counts of conscious waking during the night. I was not ready for this, never thought of the soreness I was going to subject myself to. I opened my desk drawer, and saw a fortune cookie from last week. I cracked it open and thought about eating it and not recording it in my food diary, but tossed it in the trash instead. It probably helped that I don't care for fortune cookies all that much (hence why i was in the drawer to begin with) so it was easier than say if i found a brownie in my drawer. I am going to try to keep daily photos. I think this will work, I'll live through the hunger pains. I've been creating spreadsheets and stuff and improving on them for tracking things.

And so it begins...

I'm measured and weighed in (sigh their scale doesn't know how to count very high and said I'm weigh E lbs. 8P ) Went to Walmart afterwards and grabbed my fruit and vegies and meat, $165 Not my normal shopping and only sale items / coupons were on the meats - grit my teeth when I saw the total. 8( Much cheaper to eat poorly 8(

The eve of the beginning

Night before I head in for weigh in and start of this 'Survey'. I'm not sure if I really want to pedal to the metal and win the a prize from it. Since it's a survey, the prizes seem rather low budget, so for me the real prize will be loosing the weight and getting exercise back in the menu. They say I can eat whatever on the the weekends, only the weekdays are required to for me to be following the diet. I'm not sure how I feel on that at the start of this, if I'm really doing this, then I'm doing it 24/7, no scheduled days off. This is a big deal for me as it will hopefully be a turning point in my life and I hope to be able to make this work for me. My goal really isn't a set weight but a size. I want to be able to shop at somewhere other than Casual Male XL, I want a single seat on an airplane, I want to be able to ride roller coasters again, and I hope by reaching those goals that maybe, just maybe, my back pain may lessen to some degree. I went ahead and bought the meal shakes the diet allows, and I bought a semi antique postal scale for weighing my food. And plan to do my grocery shopping after my weigh in as I have a few questions on whats allowed. The paperwork wasn't that clear on a few points.